Dramatis Personae


The most noble of men and an inspiration to all

Horatio Magellan Crunch, born and raised on Crunch Island long ago, has discovered many wonderful treasures in his years on the Milk Seas. One such treasure was the Fountain of Youth which, along with a diet rich in the elusive mineral Crunchium, has kept the Cap’n spry well into his 576th year.

Another discovery of Crunch’s was the island continent of Cerealia which, until that time, had been home to a race of peaceful, fruit-harvesting natives. The subsequent colonization of Cerealia and the unification of those colonists under the banner of their good-hearted King could not have occurred without Crunch’s explorations.

Still occasionally setting sail on his ship, the SS Guppy, Crunch enlists an able-bodied crew including his canine first mate, Seadog, the peanut butter-loving elephant named Smedley, and the orphan children Aflie, Brunnhilde, Carlyle and Dave.

An infinitely wise, fair and compassionate man, the Cap’n is widely sought for counsel and aid. He is ever reliable and ever ready to defend what he feels to be right.


The voracious villain, Evil’s own choclaty shadow

The origins of the creature named Count Chocula are relegated to the darkest, spider-webbed corners of history. What is known of this terrifying figure is he arrived in Cerealia not long after the King vanished from his throne.

In the King’s long absence his castle atop the Frosted Peaks at the very center of Cerealia was stormed and captured by Chocula and his minions.  Now that keep is called Castle Chocula – the only spot in the land where eternal morning is split by an unbroken, mystically-powered column of blackest night.

Chocula’s lust, nay, his hunger for power and his allegiances with dark forces are well-known but the fact that Chocula is, at heart, an easily spooked coward is a heavily guarded secret.  As long as he operates from his fortress, working through his wicked underlings, Chocula is a dangerous foe and a threat to every living being in Cerealia.


A strong right hand, a devoted husband and father, a great guy

Tony the Tiger came to Cerealia with simple dreams – to provide a good life for his wife and their burgeoning family.  Tony saw only promise and a shining future in this morning land full of corn, both flaked to frosted.  Tony’s life would be, in his words, “grrrreat!”

But that was before the hard times, before the attacks by La Foote, the invasion of the Soggies, the disappearance of the king and the arrival of Chocula.  However, even in their darkest hours, the people of Cerealia knew they could count on Tony to step up – often at the side of Cap’n Crunch – to provide the strength and leadership to win the day.

His loving wife Antonia and his children, Tony Jr and Antoinette, are still his reason for living.  A solid, moral animal, Tony may see difficult days ahead but he is always prepared to join the fray to ensure there’s a better morning to come.


A sadistic brute in league with the forces of darkness

The cobbled, stitched monstrosity called Franken Berry was created for an unknown purpose by an unknown genius.  What the creature has used his artificial life for, however, is all too clear: the infliction of pain and the spreading of strawberry-tinted evil.

As Chocula’s right-hand, Franken Berry is often sent forth into the morning light of Cerealia to do his malevolent bidding.  Kidnapping, torture, murder, grocery shopping – all of these tasks and more the monster performs without question.  But anyone believing Franken Berry is merely a brainless puppet has never seen the glee or invention with which he undertakes his violent assignments.  And for this, consider yourselves lucky.


Crunch’s man on the inside

The product of a lifetime of disappointment and denial, the rabbit has grown calluses over an essentially good heart.  A cynic through and through, he’s also developed a keen ear (or two) for other people’s weaknesses.

Since hanging the shingle of his own detective agency, No Trix Investigations, T.R. has put his keen insights and questionable disguise skills to work on behalf of paying customers, digging into the lives of his marks and finding the surprises inside.  It’s easy when you think about it: figure out somebody’s greatest desire and then catch them with it.

He only asks his modest rates plus expenses, but there’s something much more basic that he really wants – something he’s never had.  His own greatest desire; he both prays for and dreads the day he might actually attain it.


Laid-back smartass … with a secret

Everybody loves Sugar Bear. Maybe it’s his effortless charm and quick wit or maybe it’s just because he’s so damn cool, but there’s no denying that Sugar Bear is turned to by those in need of an easy smile.

But there’s another side of this beloved figure that only a few (like Sugar Bear’s best friend Tony) have glimpsed, a part of his personality that takes control of his mind and body on rare occasions. This startling transformation is spurred on by a combo of survival instinct and a helping of Super Sugar Crisp. The “crunch with punch” metamorphosizes laconic Sugar Bear into the powerful berserker called “Super Bear.” Uncomfortable with the violent nature of his unrestrained alter ego, Sugar Bear is reluctant to “use” him – even in the service of a cause as noble as Crunch’s.


Magically delicious or malevolently delusional

Leprechauns are, by their very nature, the most capricious and cunning of faerie folk, but Lucky is in a class by himself. Having long ago lost his pot of gold, Lucky has become paranoid to the point of obsession, jealously guarding his “lucky charms” – multi-colored magic talismans in various mystically significant shapes that are the source of his vast powers. Indeed, Lucky is second only to the wizard Cookie Jarvis in terms of sheer supernatural might.

Convinced that every being he encounters is out to relieve him of his precious charms, Lucky has forged a devious pact of mutual protection with Count Chocula. Though he trusts the Count less than anyone else, Lucky believes in keeping his enemies close. Their alliance stands…for now.


The wizard

Cookie Jarvis was the sage counsel of the King and the most powerful of Cerealia’s magical inhabitants, his mastery of the breakfast magicks was legendary. Whether using his spells to ensure the rice was puffed and the loops frooty or to turn chocolate chip cookies into part of your essential breakfast, Cookie Jarvis was a force for good and light. Until he disappeared.

While they came to accept the fact (without understanding the reasons for it) that their king had hidden himself  away and lapsed into a deep “sleep,” the people of Cerealia had no idea where their wizard had gone off to. But they knew in their hearts that dark days were ahead. As dark as days in a land of eternal morning can get, that is.  And now as the shadow of Chocula spreads across the land, aided by magicks of a much blacker nature, the question arises again: where is Cookie Jarvis?


Funny guy, dead man

He was alive once. And he could make you laugh ’til you were blue in the face. The man who would be Boo Berry was once a favorite of the King who had kept him around his court as an unofficial jester. But when the King vanished and Chocula made his move, Boo Berry was one of the first casualties.  Now cursed to haunt the halls of Castle Chocula, Boo Berry can find his only solace in spooking the master of the keep, secure in the knowledge that no harm can come to him now.

Although a sarcastic and toadyish fellow in death as in life, Boo Berry is not intrinsically evil and so it remains to be seen which side of the coming conflict he will serve – or if he will choose any side at all.


The bird in between

Toucan Sam has been several things in his life but first and foremost he’s a pragmatist. His credo: take no sides, take no risks and always follow your nose.

Upon arrival in Cerealia, Sam roosted right at the border where civilization meets the wild, where the legal meets the illicit, where sun meets shadow. His treetop gin-joint, Sam’s Loophole, is where all levels of Cerealia society can rub shoulders in an unspoken truce. And so, while stormclouds brew and the morning sun fights back encroaching night, Sam, a bird of refined tastes (and smells) glides above it all, making shallow friends and deep profits.



Encased in his powerful robotic exo-suit, Squish is the leader of the alien race known as the Soggies.  A refugee fleet of intergalactic conquerors, the Soggies are beings of animate milk who seek only to soften and erode all that is steady and firm.  Since abandoning the dried-out husk of a homeworld that they destroyed through their own greed and negligence, the Soggies have crossed the universe in search of new worlds with rich supplies of the lactose that sustains them.

Though his attempts to claim the Milk Seas have been repeatedly thwarted by Cap’n Crunch and his allies, Squish has partnered with Chocula in the hope that their separate but complimentary goals will finally be realized.


Qwazy chawacter

Not so long ago in a galaxy fairly close by the alien known as Quisp was merely another propeller-topped face in the crowd. Life was pretty boring for Quisp of the Planet Q, a world where every being was just as wacky as he. Restless and seeking a place in need of a laugh, Quisp set out across the stars in a bowlship powered by the same “qwazy energy” that fueled Quisp himself.

Landing in Cerealia, Quisp’s zany antics and infectious nature made him instantly beloved by all – save the earth-shaking superhero named Quake. What Quisp saw as friendly one-upmanship, Quake viewed as bitter rivalry. By the time Quisp realized this was no longer fun and games, their conflict had turned near-deadly culminating in one final battle that left Quake beaten and disgraced.

Although his deftness and alien technology had won the day, Quisp was a sad victor. Not long after Quake slunk away into obscurity, Quisp boarded his ship and took off for parts unknown. Cerealia had just stopped being any fun.



Earth mover

The man known only as “Quake” shook up the land of Cerealia from the moment he arrived. A hero of mythic strength and possessed of super powers granting him control over the very Earth itself, Quake set about exploring the land, saving lives and helping those in need as he went.

But in a mean stroke of cosmic irony, Quake’s thunder was almost instantly stolen by the simultaneous arrival of a zany and delightful alien trickster known as Quisp. The alien and the superhero crossed paths on many occasions until the tensions between the two (driven primarily by Quake’s bruised ego and Quisp’s nonstop goading) boiled over into a brutal clash for public favor that left Quake thoroughly trouced and embarrassed by Quisp’s ever popular supply of “qwazy energy.” Quake limped away. While perhaps still as powerful as before, Quake has become a bloated shadow of his former heroic self.


A good hearted, fleet-footed scrapper

From Cerealia’s city streets comes the quick-footed kid called Dig’Em. Though still young (and somewhat limited in vocabulary), this frog knows a thing or two and Cap’n Crunch has benefitted many a time from Dig’Em’s talents as an informant. He’s also an excellent recon specialist and has “mad skillz” (his own words) with a sidearm.

Always up for a bit of trouble (as long as it’s for a good cause), Dig’Em has proven time and again that those who would underestimate him because of his size and youth are chumps.


The Barefoot Pirate

As a boy, Jean LaFoote heard tales of a seemingly immortal sea captain with an endless supply of the golden mineral known as “crunchium.” From a family of sea-farers himself, Jean decided early on that he would one day sail under Cap’n Horatio Crunch.

Sadly, by the time the grown LaFoote finally met Crunch he had garnered a (deserved) reputation as a ruthless and bloodthirsty brigand. Thus was LaFoote turned away by the upstanding Cap’n, his childhood hero. This snub drove LaFoote (now called “The Barefoot Pirate” thanks to an affectation that LaFoote claimed was a choice for stealth, though it was more likely due to the lack of any boots in his prodigious size) to declare himself Cap’n Crunch’s arch-enemy.

Their cat-and-mouse across the Milk Seas and beyond has lasted years, though LaFoote and his pirate band have been thwarted time and time again in their attempts to plunder Crunch’s stores of crunchium. But perhaps a new alliance with Chocula has turned time and tide in the Barefoot Pirate’s favor….


The loose cannon

A truly tragic figure in the events set in motion by Count Chocula. Even before the Count’s arrival in Cerealia, Sonny was a troubled soul. A bright, energetic and funny presence, this bird was known to suffer periodic bouts of violent mania when brought face to bowl with his favorite breakfast. As his friends and neighbors came to understand, it’s not safe to be around Sonny once he’s gone “cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”

Also aware of this was Count Chocula who immediately saw Sonny’s potential as a weapon. Imprisoned in the depths of Castle Chocula, Sonny is now an involuntary pawn in Chocula’s thrall.


Fah-roooooty terror

His true name long since forgotten, all that remains is the descriptive moniker “Fruit Brute.” Cursed years ago to transform by the light of the full moon into a ravaging man-beast wild for the flavors of fruit, this tortured soul soon found himself enslaved by Count Chocula.

It was as part of Chocula’s menagerie of horror that Fruit Brute grew to savor the taste of flesh and blood as well. Many have fallen before the cherry-red tooth and claw of this fruit-loving monster.



Cookie Cop

Krum, also called the “Cookie Cop” for his role in protecting the domain of Cookie Jarvis after the wizard’s disappearance, is the law in Cerealia and he takes his job very seriously. Too seriously according to some.

At the same time however, he has never tried to extend his resources towards putting a definitive end to Chocula’s machinations. This indicates that this cop is, like most halfway intelligent beings of Cerealia, scared witless by the Count and his minions.



The hand in the cookie jar

The Crook is a two-bit second story man out to score the perfect haul, though he most often ends up with nothing more than silverware and knick-knacks. His weakness (one shared by his lookout and partner Chip the Cookie Hound) is for freshly baked cookies.

More of a nuisance than a menace, the Cookie Crook is, nonetheless, the bane of Officer Krum’s existence and the most frequent (and sometimes sole) occupant of Cerealia’s jail.